Helpless

My mind is in a complete muddle. I cant think straight. Each time i sit at my pc, images of my dad float in front of me. And tears start to well in my eyes and i break down and cry. I didnt discuss my feelings much with hubby. I know no matter what happen, life goes on. But somehow, i do not want to think that i may lose a loved one soon. Instead, i should be praying for his recovery. Damn, i'm so helpless now and i hate myself or being so.